Mi Casa

Like most little girls, I have dreamed of living in my own castle, eating the forbidden cake from Alice’s adventures, growing taller and becoming a renowned beauty. I have imagined myself wearing a tiara and being fluent in at least five languages, and having the skill of playing the cello. I have dreamed of becoming a professor, whose classroom is filled with young listeners, and whose walls resonate with the teachings of Shakespeare and Ovid. I have dreamed of having my own house, a haven of rest when the drudgeries of this world take me down. I have dreamed of giving my children the best life, even if they are orphaned of a father. And I have dreamed of finding my soulmate still, in this world of casual sex and lies, I remain cautiously optimistic.

I cannot say that I have reached all these dreams. In fact, with most, I am not even close to achieving them. I have roamed the earth for 27 years. I cannot say that I have been anywhere significant, but in my mind, I have been to places so extreme, it literally blows my mind away thinking about them. But it isn’t wrong to hope. In fact, in my case, it is encouraged.

I am not a professor, but I will be someday. I am on the road to becoming one as I have begun my M.A. studies in Language and Literature. I am not the best mom, but I provide a good life for my kids, even if I have to work 14 hours a day to do this. And no, I am not yet married, but I have learned to count my blessings, and let go of the hurt and pain that grip my soul. I have decided being happy is a choice I have to make, just as I can also choose to be sad, unsuccessful and hopeless. I have no one in this world to depend on but myself, and the endless channels of blessings that God has given.

I may not be on the same ground that I was all those years ago. I have reached  a plane of reality, where princesses do not exist, except in monarchies. Yet I am okay. Content with where God has planted me and optimistic for what is yet to be unraveled.

I am on a different terrain now, ready for battle, equipped with hope and faith.

And I am okay. Yes, I am doing alright.